The Solution-Focused journey to overcoming Pornography Addiction
It’s time that we get real about the deep grasp pornography has on our culture, and on men from all walks of life. Pornography addiction is no joke. It is a deadly pleasure, leaving men, women, families, businesses, and churches in its wake. It has no regard for our wellbeing, but only seeks to infect and dismantle anything that is good. You’ve seen many of its consequences in your own life.
Pornography addiction is a global issue, not discriminating between who you are or where you come from. Christians are not given a free pass, or a leg-up on resisting its sensuous allure. We know its end is death, yet it keeps calling us back time and time again.
What is new about the discussion of pornography these days is the continued advance of technology. Sexual temptation is becoming more streamlined and tailored to your specific desires. It comes disguised as something that will bring you satisfaction, but we know it is full of a world of sin, and is only going to get more difficult to resist. Part of the reason porn is so addictive is its appeal to our specific desires.
We can have whatever we want whenever we want it. For the world, that’s a great motto, but for Christians we make it our aim to glorify God in our lives. We don’t live for the short-term pleasures of this world.
I’m not sure how up to date you are on the advancement of artificial intelligence, but things are brewing in the tech world. In the realm of sex and pornography, we will be having discussions that the Gospel writers never thought would be possible.
It is no longer time to wait and tackle this problem at a later date. The time is now. For you. For your family. For your children. For your church. For the LORD.
For men of faith, the struggle with pornography can be uniquely challenging, as it conflicts with deeply held values and spiritual beliefs. However, through a combination of faith, support, practical strategies, and a solution-focused approach, Christian men can find hope, healing, and lasting freedom from pornography addiction.
This is going to be an overview guide, titled “The Solution-Focused Journey to Overcoming Pornography Addiction – A Perspective for Christian Men.” We will explore how you can apply solution-focused principles to navigate this journey of recovery.
Acknowledging the struggle
The first step in overcoming any addiction is acknowledging its presence. This must be a full acknowledgement. Sexual addiction can be elusive and the addicted part of your brain will tell you it’s not that big of a deal, but that is not the truth. This addiction will rob you of joy, hope, peace, and genuine connection with others if you won’t admit it is real. And at worst, it will kill you. An honest conversation with a spouse, close friend, or pastor can help put this in perspective for you.
The acknowledgement of its presence and the step toward seeking help takes immense strength that you will need in order to keep moving toward healing in your life. Understand that addiction is a complex issue with many facets. It’s not as simple as , “just stop,” or “pray more.” By acknowledging the problem, you open the door for restoration and transformation.
Seeking Support and Accountability
Recovery from pornography addiction is not a journey that can be undertaken alone. Indeed it cannot be. This is perhaps the most difficult part of the journey. You need people around you that understand what you are trying to do with your life.
Surround yourself with a supportive community of fellow Christians who understand the challenges you are trying to make and are committed to walking alongside you. Seek out support groups, accountability partners, or online communities specifically geared towards Christians overcoming pornography addiction. These connections can provide encouragement, accountability, and a place to share experiences and challenges.
Integrating Faith and recovery
As a Christian man, integrating your faith into the recovery process can provide a powerful foundation for healing. Seek guidance from Scripture, prayer, and spiritual practices that strengthen your relationship with God. Embrace the truth that God’s grace is available to help you overcome struggles and find freedom. Allow your faith to shape your identity and guide you towards a renewed sense of purpose and worthiness.
I’m not simply talking about the “pray more,” “read your Bible more” strategy. However, it is important to take a look at what you really believe and how that belief inspires the life you want to lead. Questions like, “if Jesus were with me right now, would he look at porn with me?” “How would he teach me?” “How do I view the women on the screen I’m looking at?” “What do I believe about people and their value?” “In what ways do I desire to see those beliefs take form in my life?” “How would I know they are taking form?” “What would I notice about myself to suggest that I am applying my faith and values to my life?” “What is even the smallest piece of evidence that shows me my life is different now?”
Solution-focused approach
In addition to faith-based principles, integrating solution-focused brief therapy ideas can be valuable in overcoming pornography addiction. I already touched on some of these principles in the questions above. This approach focuses on exploring solutions rather than dwelling on problems. It encourages individuals to envision a future where they have successfully overcome addiction and to identify the steps needed to reach that future.
“If my porn addiction was completely gone overnight, what would that first morning look like? What would be the first thing I would notice about myself that morning to suggest to me that the problem is gone? How would I know? What are even the smallest details I would notice about myself? What would my family notice? What would my wife notice? What would my pets notice? What would other drivers on the street notice? What would my teachers notice? What would my friends notice?”
Giving attention to even the tiniest details of your life will be the fuel in seeing lasting change. It is so easy to overlook the small victories. But Rome wasn’t built in a day. Your long-term success will be a result of a lengthy string of small changes and victories. Notice them.
Identifying Strengths and resources
A key aspect of the solution-focused approach is identifying your strengths, resources, and past successes. Reflect on moments when you successfully lived-into the version of yourself that you want to be– that version of yourself where porn is not a problem. What is different about you when you are that version? Recognize the unique qualities and abilities you possess that can continue to help you live the life you prefer. By building on your strengths and utilizing available resources, you can empower yourself in the recovery process.
Setting achievable goals
For some of you, setting goals can be an excellent tool. Making sure the goals are achievable is an essential component creating a strategy that will be successful, not burdensome. Break down the recovery journey into manageable steps and establish specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. Celebrate each milestone as you progress towards your larger vision of freedom and restoration.
I have a blog post about setting goals that can help you with this process here.
Focusing on solutions
Rather than dwelling on the negative aspects of addiction, focus on solutions and positive changes. The brain is an anxiety machine. Its sole job is to keep us alive. It constantly searches for things that are going wrong so that it can figure out the solution and remove the threat– thus increasing our chances of survival. Do you see that? When things are going well, we don’t notice them because the brain doesn’t view good times as something to focus on. It takes effort to recognize the things in our lives that are going well.
Take time to deliberately explore what is working for you and what strategies have been effective in your recovery. Redirect your energy toward activities, hobbies, and relationships that promote health and well-being. Cultivate positive habits and thought patterns that support your recovery.
Embracing progress and celebrating success
Recognize and celebrate even the smallest steps of progress. Each victory, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience and determination. Embrace the progress you have made and acknowledge the positive changes in your life. By celebrating success, you reinforce your commitment to the journey and build confidence in your ability to overcome challenges.
Remember, change is not a straight line graph. The process of change looks more like a plate of spaghetti than an arrow. Sometimes it’s two steps forward, three steps back. The important thing is to continue to move forward and you will begin to string together a line of victories that will help you gain momentum and heal in ways you never thought were possible.
You can do this. Join the masses of men that are building a better future for themselves and for their families. One step at a time. One day at a time. Find healing. Gain confidence. Reach your full potential.
